As I was going through a list of all of the movies released in this decade, I'm sad to say that I found that I found myself passing over a lot of good titles because I hadn't seen them yet but loading up my list of god awful films that I'd wasted my life on. And this isn't to say that this decade had a lot of shocking disappointments, I just decided to invest my time in a lot of terrible movies. The reason is because usually when I watch these films I'm lying around, sometimes hungover, other times just not wanting to use my brain. Enter HBO/Cinemax/Starz and their constant barrage of nonsense. How else can you explain why I've watched "Silent Hill"? Twice.

Anyway, I did manage to catch a few of the great movies of this decade and here is my top 10:

10. Mulholland Drive
9. The Constant Gardner
8. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
7. No Country for Old Men
6. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
5. Almost Famous
4. Amores Perros
3. Memento
2. Requiem for a Dream
1. City of God

I'm pretty set with that list although I might want to move "The Lives of Others" up there and I swear there are a couple of other films that I might have overlooked. (And no, The Dark Knight isn't one of them.)

As for the worst of the 00's, it was a bit tougher. Some movies were hurt because of their hype. I don't think I can really call Atonement "one of the worst movies of the decade" but I really have no idea how it got nominated for best picture. I hated "The Savages" and "Margot at the Wedding" but there was just enough talent on display to keep them off of the list. I also discounted flicks that I had the good sense to turn off before finishing (count your lucky stars, "Fool's Gold" and "Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever").

On a side note, the WTF?! Movie of the Decade is "Sunshine". Two-Thirds of the film seems like it is trying to be a "2001"-type atmospheric movie and then it switches gears and becomes a remake of "Event Horizon". It's really bizarre. I've never been watching a movie and then suddenly started trying to remember if I had changed the channel. It's a great film for discussion because the beginning sets up a number of interesting possibilities but then it almost literally devolves into a brain dead slasher movie.

I'm sure there are a lot of movies that I'm missing but here are the Unlucky 13 I'm going with for now.

Honorable Mention: Femme Fatale: I know I wrote that I wouldn't include films that I hadn't seen all the way through but this one is the exception. The worst thing a bad movie can do is inspire the thought "Why are we watching this?" I've been to more than one crowded party in which everyone was talking and nobody was paying one iota of attention to the TV until this movie came on and then almost everyone started asking, "What the fuck is this?". People angrily asked, "Why is that on?!" like they were offended that the mere presence of this movie in their peripheral vision. Any movie that can get guys to quickly turn the channel off of a half-naked Rebecca Romijn deserves a mention.
13. Loser: This film might have single-handedly derailed the careers of Jason Biggs, Mena Suvari, and Amy Heckerling
12. Catwoman: Someone spent 100 million bucks on a movie and all they got was this lousy (albeit absolutely hilarious) scene.

11. Dreamcatcher: I'm sure that, if I saw it again, that it would have some "It's so bad it's funny" appeal but I never want to see it again so I'll always remember it as being just plain terrible.
10. Aeon Flux: The original shorts worked because, well, they were short. Two hours of something that kinda looks cool but doesn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense doesn't work as well.
9. Thunderbirds: It's like someone saw the "Lost in Space" movie and thought, "Let's make it even blander."
8. Antitrust: "A computer programmer's dream job at a hot Portland-based firm turns nightmarish when he discovers his boss has a secret and ruthless means of dispatching anti-trust problems." Starring Ryan Phillipe, Rachel Leigh Cook, and Claire Forlani.
7. Domestic Disturbance: On the bright side, I think this might have been the film that convinced Vince Vaughn to give up serious roles and go back to comedy. Or at least, it should have.
6. Max Payne: They somehow took a rather filmic video game with a pretty easy to adapt story and turned it into a boring, nonsensical movie that didn't have enough action to be an actioner and too dumb to be a whodunnit. It also features the bad guy with aim so bad that it defies physics.

I'm sorry but how does a guy standing DIRECTLY BEHIND someone, shoot STRAIGHT at his target, and end up hitting a table that looks to be 5 feet away. Oh, and that's still one of the best scenes in the movie.

5. U-571: It's basically a bunch of depth charges going off. Honestly. That's pretty much the entire film.
4. Death Proof: When I wasn't bored, I was annoyed.
3. Baby Boy: When I wasn't annoyed, I was offended. This film sends perhaps one of the worst messages that I've ever seen. It has a happy ending that was so inexplicable that my friend thought it was actually supposed to be a tragic.
2. Reeker: I feel like the thinking behind this script was: OK, we'll have something dumb happen and then have 10 minutes of nothing so that people can talk and make fun of how stupid the film is and then we'll have another dumb moment so people will have something else to make fun of. And we'll do that for the entire movie and then throw in an ending that kind of says that none of what you saw really mattered.

1. Elephant: People lauded this film because it offered nothing. They claim that the film doesn't have characters or explain anything but then somehow add that it lets the people make up their own minds... even though you can't do that if you don't know the characters, their motives, or pretty much anything else (oh, besides that they are gay). Admittedly, it's shot very well but that just makes it seem like a waste of talent.

I hope that the campy trend comes to an end and people stop trying to make films intentionally bad so they are funny (I see you "The Happening"). How about people try to make actual quality films this next decade, OK? And if they don't want to do that, at least they could supply the general public with a quick best of reel like this one from the horrific "The Wicker Man" so we can get the gist of the stupidity but not have to waste our time on the actual movie itself.